Posted by:
Greg Lance – Watkins
Greg_L-W

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Hi,

From Paul Starling’s Facebook…   January 15th, 2020.

CANCER:

In the early hours of this morning I posted two things about cancer.   Within a few hours I’d deleted them.

I have re-considered (‘slept on it’, NOT!)

As I start writing this,  it is 11am.  Another, bloody, sleepless night.  That is one of the known effects of ‘surviving cancer’.

There are others.  In the cool light of day I’ve decided to open up, again, about this subject.  This time I will take the courage to ‘put it out there’, and leave it there, among you, despite my fears that you or others might misread my motives.

I am going to be open and honest with you, in the hope that it may help you understand better.

Oh yes, it is going to be therapeutic for me … but I’ve concluded it might also be therapeutic for you too.

Tomorrow I’m going to go to a specialist cancer unit. It provides support for those going through cancer but, also, as I discovered in the early hours of this morning, it is there for people who ‘survive cancer’.

What a revelation!

There’s me thinking that I should just shut up and suffer in silence.

For, after all, I survived the bloody cancer.

Wrong!

Surviving, not dying from, cancer brings ‘issues’ all of its own – as I discovered in the dark hours of this morning.

Many of you and others have asked me “how are you”?    

“I’m fine”, is my stock response, (for, after all, I am alive and, being British, should stiffen my lip, stiffen my sinews, and ‘keep on buggering on’ as Churchill was fond of saying to the men who were actually on the front line putting their lives at risk!)

NO.

I’ve reached the conclusion that it is better to tell you, and me, the truth.  That, I’ve decided, is healthier.

Oh, yes, I can keep CONTROL of the situation, you, and others, by pretending.  That empowers me, but disempowers you!

So …  NO.

I am not alright. And, by being honest, it sort of releases you to be honest, too.

This is the third cancer operation I have survived.  It has taken me all this time to be open and admit the truth, to my self, and you. (Bloody hell, my first cancer operation was 20 years ago! How dull and slow are we, in Britain, with this ‘soldiering on’, stiff upper lip stuff).

Now, don’t get me wrong.

I loathe self pity, and/or wallowing in weakness.

But. I come back to it, it takes greater strength and courage to face and tell the truth, rather than hide, and lie.  

Letting go, in this way, helps you, and others, to understand.

SO.

When I, finally, seek the support of others, at that hospital cancer unit tomorrow, I’ll be open, and tell the truth.

I will say that I am anxious, bordering on depressed. I am not sleeping, am isolating my self, and find the smallest task an impossible mountain to climb. I will, also, say that I am angry about the cumulative effect of so many operations (and the bloody suffering). That, in my silent rage, I have shut myself away from the world. And I could do with talking with the psychotherapist there, about these things.

This, I realised, in the early hours of this morning, takes REAL strength.

THIS is the healthier approach.

It will help me.

I think it will help you, too.

Hence my reason for writing this.

Paul Starling.

ReplyForward

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If YOU want to follow my fight against Cancer from when it started and I first presented with symptoms in 1998 see The TAB at the Header of this Blog. called >DIARY of Cancer ….< just click and it will give you a long list of the main events in chronological order, many linked to specific blog postings. . Later in the sequence of my experiences with cancer you will note that I introduce some results and events most probably linked with cancer such as enlarged & damaged Prostate and a consequential Heart Attack leaving me with no right coronary artery! . I have also included numerous articles and anecdotes regarding health – primarily related to cancer, prostate and heart conditions – FYI! . Thoughts, articles and comments will be in chronological order in the main blog and can be tracked in the >ARCHIVE< in the Left Sidebar. . You may find the TABS >MEDICAL LINKS< and also >CANCER LINKS< of help, also many of the links in articles and >HOT LINKS< in the Sidebar.
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YOU are welcome to call me, minded that I am NOT medically trained, if you believe I can help you in ANY way. .

Regards,
Greg_L-W.

eMail:
Greg_L-W@BTconnect.com
ControversiallyGreg@Gmail.com

The BLOG:
https://InfoWebSiteUK.wordpress.com

The Main Web Site:
www.InfoWebSite.UK

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